Beacuse of  Timothy Geithner’s euphemistic doublespeak, it has become necessary to add a static GLOSSARY page, so that when you read the linked articles or quotes from “Tiny Tim” and his behaviorial economists you’ll actually be able to translate the terms into common use language.

Common Geithnerisms:

creative = fraudulent
distressed = worthless
exceptional assistance = bailouts of more than 50 billion annually
hard-to-value = fraudulently underwritten and fraudulently rated
legacy assets = liabilities
quantitative easing = currency debasement
risk = fraud
stabilize = bailout
stress test = fluff report
systemically important = “juiced in” like Goldman
talent = criminal acumen
troubled = prosecutable
well capitalized = well cooked

Geithronyms Translated:

AMLF (Asset-Backed Commercial Paper Money Market Mutual Fund Liquidity Facility) = Aggregate Monetary Loss Failsafe
CAP (Capital Assistance Program) = Corrective Audit Prevention
CPFF (Commercial Paper Funding Facility) = Collusion Protocol for Funding Fraud
MMIFF (Money Market Investor Funding Facility) = Madoff Method In Federal Form
PPIP (Public Private Investment Program) = Poorly Prepared Inducement to Pauperism
PSPV (Private Special Purpose Vehicles) = Panicked Subprime Predator Vindication
TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program) = Tremendous Ability to Rape the Public
TALF (Term Asset-Backed-Securities Loan Facility) = Terminal Abscess Linked to Fraud
TIP (Targeted Investment Program) = Trust in Paulson
TLGP (Temporary Liquidity Guarantee Program) = Total Loss Government Protection